Terrible week

The past few weeks have been terrible. It seems like this year has been terrible for me. I’ve spent the past couple of weeks arguing with my utility company about how they are processing my bill. Well, how they’re not and then they did multiple times and they are charging me fees for their mistake. You see, the utility company where I live recently switched to a new system and I was told by one rep that with certain banks, a digit gets dropped and the payment never processes correctly. I was told that the fee would be waived by her but then I got a letter in the mail saying that my account was past due and that I had to pay it immediately which I did. While I was there another rep said, “No, the return check fee will not be waived and I don’t know why the rep told you that because that is not our policy.” Well, now they have pulled the amount out of my account multiple times. Fun right? I have spent all day last week on the phone with them and had a rep hang up on me. I still can’t pay my bill online because my account is still under review and I have to call them again. Needless to say, I am not amused. Too bad I can’t afford to get solar panels.

Now I have also been arguing with my family because of what they demand from me. My sister is the main offender because she’s so demanding. Recently I had her move in with me but the truth is that she does nothing around the house. No cooking, cleaning, nothing. She doesn’t pay rent or utilities. (It’s all on me.) She has a bad habit of leaving the stove/oven on. (Really? How do you forget that the stove is on?) The last argument we had was about mail. She spends the weekend with my father and she was going to be coming home the next day. Well, I went to spend father’s day with my family and when I go there she screamed at me for not bringing her mail. Her packages of small silicone molds. Mind you this wasn’t important mail and it was sitting on my desk safely at home. She wanted to go to my house and bring it to my mother’s and then wanted me drag it all back home with me the next day because she was going to stay at my mother’s. The thing is that I don’t have a car and my city doesn’t really have a bus or subway. (It does but you still have to walk about 5-7 miles to get where you really need to be.) My dad had an extra car but it had no insurance or liability. My mother’s house doesn’t have internet so I couldn’t just buy insurance online. I told her to be patient and wait because I was going home the next day  and I could give my mother her things. It wasn’t good enough for her. Now she told me she wants to move in with her friends and that she was not covering her portion of rent. No notice, nothing. To be honest, I want to slap her.

Is it bad that I have been looking at moving away? Maybe a change of scenery or a different pace? I mean, I speak three languages. Maybe if I put a few thousands of miles or an ocean between her and my family I would be happier. The thing is that there is a constant tug of war between all the members of my family and I am caught in the middle. My mother is a clingy, insecure Tiger Mom that belittles me for my appearance and poor social skills. (I cringe when I am around lots of people.) My father is a indifferent man with constant mood swings. One sister is a kleptomaniac that used my identity the last time she was in jail (I had to spend a few hours at the police department.) and the other is a self centered passive-aggressive brat that is still stuck in a middle school mind set. (She didn’t want a theatre scholarship because a girl she hated was going to the same college.)

The only thing keeping me from stabbing them with knitting needles is the fact that I like and need my knitting needles. (That and tje fact that I don’t have many that aren’t broken and the ones that aren’t are made of bamboo. I can safely say I will never by a Boye interchangeable set ever again.) I have been knitting all while they have been fighting amongst themselves and I have to say that I got a few swatches done and part of sweater done. (I have yet to wash my swatches though.)

I'm hoping the pretty colors and design distract me from my family.

The other good news is that, YAY!, I made some new friends on Facebook, Ravelry, and Minecraft. If you haven’t noticed, I have added some new people to my blog roll and I would highly suggest you check them out. Each one is different but charming and delightful in its own way. (Nathan and Stephen are too busy to blog so you can skip theirs.) I have also decided that for the rest of the year, any money I make off my patterns, half of the amount will go to charity.

Before I go, I don’t want you to think this post is all about bile and anger. It’s just been a tough week or so for me and while I was spending hours of my life on hold with the power company I did make this.

It's supposed to be a Minecraft sheep and it's made out of wool. The... uh... entrance is in the back... I should have planned that out better.


Father’s day and test knitters

So I spent time with my family for Father’s day and it was a nice break from my normal routine as I don’t get out much. First we took my dad out for lunch and ate some seafood. I think I ate twice my body weight in oysters! Then I helped my mom in her garden and helped my dad fix up my sister’s car. Later that day I dropped my mom’s Volvo repair shop. I also help cooked a small dinner for  my family (Vietnamese crepes and a garden salad) and did some clothing shopping with my mother. We discussed what we were going to do for the fourth of July this year. We had familial debates on where to go and what to do. I voted staying at home and catching up on some summer reading since I just got some old biographies about Queen Victoria as well as archived letters. (I’m a history nerd.)  Dad, on the other hand, wanted to go to the beach. My sister and my mom wanted to go to Atlanta for the day for some sightseeing and shopping. I’m sure this debate will go on for a bit or at least until the weekend before the fourth.

When I got home I realized that I still have so much to do. I have been rewriting my knitting patterns, making swatches, and test knitting and to be honest, I need an extra set of hands. (Or find an extremely well trained octopus.) Does anybody want to test knit for me? I have been busily rewriting my knitting patterns and although I test knit all of my patterns I was wondering if anybody else would like to volunteer. If you would like, place a comment below and I will contact you privately.

I really need to check my grammar some days…

I wasn’t expecting my last post to generate as many views as it did. I have to thank my friend, Preston, for that. After rereading the post I realized my grammar was atrocious. I guess it has to do with the fact that I tend to type as I think and my fingers just don’t move as fast as my brain. I have a tendency to ramble sometimes. Also, you can factor in the fact that my thoughts tend to go on tangents. (My trains of thought have been known to derailed.) Well, regardless, of all the excuses; I should be more diligent and proofread what I type.

I should also have added some more to my backstory about my weight and what the sales person had said. The thing is that I have been working very hard to be a healthier weight. Even now I am considered underweight and like I stated in the post that at my lowest I was 68 lbs. That was ghastly and skeletally thin and for the past couple of years I have been trying to get a happy place with my weight. What I should have stated more clearly is that although I tend to let that comment slide, it still hurt. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around why she would consider that I was overweight. Like I stated in my last post: “people come in different shapes and sizes.” I had and still have no clue what would possess her to tell me I was fat.

On another note, I need fix my sleep schedule. I have been waking up at 2 am in the morning and going to sleep at 6 pm for the past few days and that needs to stop. (Or I need to move time zones.)

Mainly, it’s because of stress due to deadlines. So I have been spending my nights cooking or knitting to keep my hands busy. I tested some of the new recipes on my sister much to her chagrin and occasionally discomfort. (She doesn’t like veggies as much as I do and hated the stir fried vegetable medley because it had yellow squash in it.)

I have been working on a sample sweater and proofreading my knitting pattern. I have also been stalking my mailman here and there. (I’m expecting a reasonably sized yarnie package sometime soon with two new knitting needles and some roving for my sister.) The sample sweater isn’t much of a bother and has been growing at a steady rate. The yarn it’s made out of is a lovely magenta color and it’s made out of a cotton and linen combination that drapes nicely. I just want to get it mailed out by the end of next week.

I’ve also been chatting with my friend Daniel and Michael about making a comedy blog. We have been throwing around ideas for it and I am probably going to make a separate blog for it. I think it will be easier because they can update or post on it whenever they want. I hope we can at least get it up and running by next week.

The skinny fat girl

Cropped screenshot of Marilyn Monroe from the ...

Image via Wikipedia

I was shopping for some clothes not to long ago and a sales rep told me I needed to lose weight and lose it quick. (I think she was trying to lose her job.) According to her I was fat. Me, being all of 4 foot 10 inches and 88 lbs soaking wet. Me, who had a the measurements, 35, 25, 35. I was fat to her. She called me stocky, stout, and round. I ignored her and when on my merry way. What she said seemed hypocritical and I wanted to turn a mirror at her so she could look at herself. (She was about 5 foot 4 and 210 lbs.) Besides, my mother tells me I’m a chub all the time. I’m used to it and try not to let trivial things get to me. My concern is what if she said that to someone else. Someone that doesn’t let critiques roll off of them as easily. What would that reaction be like?

Skinny is what some people strive for. Skinny, not healthy. Healthy I understand and support. It seems strange to me what is considered overweight to some and healthy to others. I have a friend that tells me that I could stand to gain a bit of weight, one that says I’m a good weight, and one acquaintance that tell me I’m a chunky monkey. I’ve also been around girls that consider anything above a size 2 overweight and it bothers me. Since when is a size 6 overweight? One of our biggest sex symbols, Marilyn Monroe, was certainly not a size 2 and believe it or not, dress sizes change.

Beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. Besides, would being skinnier make you a better person? Would it make you nicer or more caring?

I mean, I was once obsessed with my weight and I understand that there is a lot of pressure to look a certain way. What I don’t understand is why focus on a certain dress size? (If you want to know, I was about 68 lbs at my lightest.)

The point I’m trying to get across it that not  everybody is built the same way and there are a lot of different body types out there. Some people may be apple shaped, pear shaped, banana shaped, hourglass, the list goes on.

It doesn’t seem right to say, “Oh, You’re a size 0, you’re skinny or you’re a size 4, 10, 16, you’re fat.” Bone structure and body type factor in with weight as well. What’s more important is that, at the end of the day, you’re able to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see.

As my grandmother once said, “Wear what fits you. Nobody is going to see the tag.”