I wasn’t expecting my last post to generate as many views as it did. I have to thank my friend, Preston, for that. After rereading the post I realized my grammar was atrocious. I guess it has to do with the fact that I tend to type as I think and my fingers just don’t move as fast as my brain. I have a tendency to ramble sometimes. Also, you can factor in the fact that my thoughts tend to go on tangents. (My trains of thought have been known to derailed.) Well, regardless, of all the excuses; I should be more diligent and proofread what I type.
I should also have added some more to my backstory about my weight and what the sales person had said. The thing is that I have been working very hard to be a healthier weight. Even now I am considered underweight and like I stated in the post that at my lowest I was 68 lbs. That was ghastly and skeletally thin and for the past couple of years I have been trying to get a happy place with my weight. What I should have stated more clearly is that although I tend to let that comment slide, it still hurt. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around why she would consider that I was overweight. Like I stated in my last post: “people come in different shapes and sizes.” I had and still have no clue what would possess her to tell me I was fat.
On another note, I need fix my sleep schedule. I have been waking up at 2 am in the morning and going to sleep at 6 pm for the past few days and that needs to stop. (Or I need to move time zones.)
Mainly, it’s because of stress due to deadlines. So I have been spending my nights cooking or knitting to keep my hands busy. I tested some of the new recipes on my sister much to her chagrin and occasionally discomfort. (She doesn’t like veggies as much as I do and hated the stir fried vegetable medley because it had yellow squash in it.)
I have been working on a sample sweater and proofreading my knitting pattern. I have also been stalking my mailman here and there. (I’m expecting a reasonably sized yarnie package sometime soon with two new knitting needles and some roving for my sister.) The sample sweater isn’t much of a bother and has been growing at a steady rate. The yarn it’s made out of is a lovely magenta color and it’s made out of a cotton and linen combination that drapes nicely. I just want to get it mailed out by the end of next week.
I’ve also been chatting with my friend Daniel and Michael about making a comedy blog. We have been throwing around ideas for it and I am probably going to make a separate blog for it. I think it will be easier because they can update or post on it whenever they want. I hope we can at least get it up and running by next week.
I was shopping for some clothes not to long ago and a sales rep told me I needed to lose weight and lose it quick. (I think she was trying to lose her job.) According to her I was fat. Me, being all of 4 foot 10 inches and 88 lbs soaking wet. Me, who had a the measurements, 35, 25, 35. I was fat to her. She called me stocky, stout, and round. I ignored her and when on my merry way. What she said seemed hypocritical and I wanted to turn a mirror at her so she could look at herself. (She was about 5 foot 4 and 210 lbs.) Besides, my mother tells me I’m a chub all the time. I’m used to it and try not to let trivial things get to me. My concern is what if she said that to someone else. Someone that doesn’t let critiques roll off of them as easily. What would that reaction be like?
Skinny is what some people strive for. Skinny, not healthy. Healthy I understand and support. It seems strange to me what is considered overweight to some and healthy to others. I have a friend that tells me that I could stand to gain a bit of weight, one that says I’m a good weight, and one acquaintance that tell me I’m a chunky monkey. I’ve also been around girls that consider anything above a size 2 overweight and it bothers me. Since when is a size 6 overweight? One of our biggest sex symbols, Marilyn Monroe, was certainly not a size 2 and believe it or not, dress sizes change.
Beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. Besides, would being skinnier make you a better person? Would it make you nicer or more caring?
I mean, I was once obsessed with my weight and I understand that there is a lot of pressure to look a certain way. What I don’t understand is why focus on a certain dress size? (If you want to know, I was about 68 lbs at my lightest.)
The point I’m trying to get across it that not everybody is built the same way and there are a lot of different body types out there. Some people may be apple shaped, pear shaped, banana shaped, hourglass, the list goes on.
It doesn’t seem right to say, “Oh, You’re a size 0, you’re skinny or you’re a size 4, 10, 16, you’re fat.” Bone structure and body type factor in with weight as well. What’s more important is that, at the end of the day, you’re able to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see.
As my grandmother once said, “Wear what fits you. Nobody is going to see the tag.”
- Skinny vs. Healthy: Where Do You Stand? (fitsugar.com)
So I have decided to start paying more attention to my blog and to tell you the truth, my life isn’t that interesting. I don’t punch polar bears or jump out of planes playing the ukulele. I’m just Sunny. (My name should tell you my personality. If I a more badass person, my name would be Maxine Dynamite.) I spend my days looking up scholarships and grants for school. (And loan repayment options.) Then job hunting and filling out online applications. Then I swatch and make spreadsheets for whatever design I have floating in my head. Then I read. (Lately I have been reading about Marie of Romania.) Sometimes I play video games on Steam.
I think somebody complained about how blithely I write and it’s true. I try to bounce back from things as quickly as possible. To me the longer something stays a problem, the more likely it is to fester and get worse. I’m also one of those people when something upsets me, I get upset then I format a plan. It’s just how I roll. (Sideways! Because sometimes people push me over.)
I think I’ll go back to writing once a week because there is really not much in my mundane life. But hey, it my be mundane but it’s my life.
Also, I would like to thank our armed forces for doing what they do. I salut you!
Edited: I also like to mess with trolls every once in a while.
From what I gathered from your long message is that you are angry and upset, and quite possibly have a learning disability. I just want to say that my heart sincerely goes out to you. First and for most, I want to tell you that your message has no structure and if you want to get your point across you might want to address that issue. The more structured the message, the clearer the message will be.
If you don’t mind, I would like to help you be a better troll. What I would do if I were you would start off by making an outline. It doesn’t have to be too detailed but start off with your main topic. I gather you want to kill me. What a wonderful and board topic!
Now, the first paragraph should be why. Once you have listed the why, list supporting arguments. Remember to refrain from using fallacies and begging the question. You want the supporting argument as tight as your mom’s asshole.
Next what I would list is the how. Now, I from what I read, the how is very impersonal. I simply do not feel that you truly want to kill me. How you can make it more personal is to use my personal fears. As a very neurotic person, I have quite a few. Why don’t you try playing off my fear of drowning or being burned alive? I am also afraid of chainsaws, trains, clowns, eighteen wheelers, mannequins, elevators, chimpanzees, and mimes.
I hope that this email will help you out and you will write me back soon. I look forward to it.
I’m sorry I have neglected my blog. I have been so lazy lately. Well, not quite. I have still been filling out job applications and cleaning my house. (My fridge really needed it after that 5 day black out.) I finished a hat pattern but I have yet to get any pictures of it. I have some work in progress pictures though, but none of it truely completed.
Right now I am reading the pattern and checking for errors. (Making another one too!) I know that not every pattern will be error-free but I hate to think of the confusion that might arise from me not being thorough.
Also, my friend, Austin, came to visit. I’m was really happy to have him around for a few days. I spent the time testing recipes on him. (I don’t think he minded.) I also got to give him part of his early birthday present. (One of it was a cowl. The other is supposed to be a stuffed companion cube toy.)
I am also thinking about doing a steeked sweater to use up some of the yarn I have. (I have half a skein here and there in DK weight that I can use.) I have an idea.
I will be slowly adding more knitting patterns to my page. I just haven’t gotten around to it. I’m so sorry. I will be borrowing my friend’s camera to take a few pictures. I really can’t say when they will be put up but I want to say soon. I guess, subscribe to my blog to have email alerts sent to you when I do get them up.
All I can say is that I am shocked to see the numbers of people that read this blog. I originally made it so my long distance pals can see what I am up to but, WOW… I really am surprised at the numbers and I really am grateful for all the kind words and advice people from all walks of life (and even on other parts of the globe!) have given me. Both on my blog and on Ravelry. Thank you so much and I really wish there was some way I could. I’ll think of something I promise.
I have been looking on the bright side as my unemployment has given me quite a bit of time to knit and organize my house. I have also found out things that I really didn’t know about myself. For instance, I am apparently really funny. Some of my friends suggested I make a youtube video showcasing my rather odd dead pan humor and list of bizarre fears. They even suggested I name my comedy routine “In Stitches.” I guess I can do a few side projects until I get an actual job.
Again, thank you so much for your kind words.
I really want to thank everybody that reads my blog and I know that my life is rather dull. I’m kind of an anti-social moth. I have been trying really hard to look on the bright side of things but to be honest, being an adult sucks. Someone once wrote that, “no matter how long you live, the first twenty years of your life will be longest.” I find it funny that when I was a child, I just wanted to grow up but as I have reached my springtime of my adult years, I find nostalgia lurking beneath everything I do. I knit although, as a child I hated it. It’s funny. I have realized that you don’t become an adult, just one day you look around and you realized that you are one. The things that I thought would be fun to do as a child, I now know have consequences. For instant, as a child, I would have loved to eat pudding and junk food every since day and at my first chance of freedom I went ahead with that childish fancy. Only after feeling rather sluggish and having an irritated stomach for a few days, I learned my lesson. Tada! My first lesson as an adult.
Last night I was chatting with my friend, Jake. (You should read his blog!) I said that, “It seems to me that in order for us to march at the beat of our own drum, we must beat our fist to the ground until they bleed.” I find it sad that mainstream society seems more interested in reality shows that feature drunks and self-indulgent fashionistas than artist. Where is this generation’s Dali? This generation’s Picasso? When was the last truly defining novel written? All I see is hype surrounding Twilight. (Which I believe glamorizes an abusive relationship. Seriously, he dismantles her car so she couldn’t see her best friend and admits to her that he has killed before and she blankly replying, “I don’t care.”)
I mean, kids nowadays look up to pop stars and rappers and is that someone they should aspire to be? Somebody that lives the fantasy of a rich thirteen year old that flaunts riches and sings about petty things like money, cars, and drunkenness? If children are the future, than what does it hold? What does it mean for us in the next couple of years? I mean, I have a friend that I quizzed on the max amount of years that a person can hold the presidency and he couldn’t answer that right and he is in his late twenties! (I was quizzing him on the twenty second amendment if you wanted to know and the answer is that if a person was acting president for more than two years under somebody else’s term they could only serve another so therefore, you can serve ten years max. See Lyndon B. Johnson since he served fourteen months of Kennedy’s terms and was elected for another year. He could have ran again after that be declined. I also arguing if somebody that had served two terms as president could return as vice president because technically, there is no stipulation for how many terms a person can serve as vice president. )
The truth is that I am scared. As a child, I looked at life as an open book with many pages for me to write upon, but now, the future looks daunting. I no longer embrace life with the same gusto I had when I was a child. Things are no longer black and white but dingy shades of grey that bleed together.